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Bar #7 – Old Bay – Post-Mortem

New Brunswick, NJ

I'm starting to understand why most artists and performers don't leave the beaten path and only appear in major cities...

Oh no, I thought I was more clever than them, that I could exploit minor markets and, as the "only show in town," kick some serious untapped ass.

Instead, due to this dopey stratagem, I found myself in a near empty bar full of huckleberries and rubes, bozos and unemployed Rutgers grads, nearly more bar employees than paying customers.  At least it was "Beer Pong Mondays" with $6 Yuengling pitcher specials.  Oh wasn't, because the dope managing the bar that night had been too lazy to stock up on Solo cups for pong, too lacking in foresight to have "Lager" on tap for the steaming (pile of shit) masses.

And, once some drunk HVAC conventioneers rolled in from a nearby hotel, my manager Craig and I decided to fuck selling books and instead dominate on the cornhole boards that had been set up in a side room.  We won ten in a row, showing the locals that they truly weren't good at anything, which lead to most all of the cornhole losers buying books.  It was probably our best conversion rate of the tour in strangers met to books sold (even in a crowd of potential illiterates.)

If I EVER return to New Brunswick again, it'll only be to watch Syracuse dominate one of Rutgers' meager athletics teams.


Having an event in New Brunswick.


Forced to share a bed with my manager that evening, I zinged him:  "You only get to sleep on 15% of the mattress."


Fresh Saison Dupont on tap.  Wow.  Never had this legendary beer any way but bottled before--and not quite sure how some innocuous bar in the middle of Jersey got some--but it was delicious.  Herbal, buttery, creamy.

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