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“BLURBS” – Director’s Commentary and Deleted Scenes #3

This Director's Commentary touches on fucking blurbs:

Man, I'm starting to feel like Andy Rooney with these things ("What's the deal with blurbs?!")

And here are the Deleted Scenes, my two alternatives I considered putting on the "How to Fail" back cover instead of blurbs.

First, I thought it would be a great idea to take my Fail-anetics videos and add the quotes from those to the book to encourage browsers to check out what's inside, something like:

When I wake up in a pile of garbage, can I use my morning wood as a sundial to tell what time it is?  Page 7

Is there any more noble dream than hoping you get laid off with a juicy severance package?  Page 83

Would I be a more successful adult if my parents  had been assholes?  Page 43

But something about that just seemed a tad amateurish.

My second idea was to spoof things, make the book seem edgy:

(excerpts from other publisher's rejection letters)

"I'm going to pass."  --Katherine, [Redacted] House

"I did not fall in love with ["How to Fail"] in the ways that I need I’m sure you’re aware it’s a very difficult time in publishing right now, and I feel that I need a strong connection with a book in order to publish it."  --Emily, [Redacted] Publishing

"Dear Authors: Thanks so much for letting us take a look at your materials and please forgive us for responding with a form letter...Unfortunately, your project does not suit our list at this time." --Michael, [Redacted] & [Redacted]

My publisher said this idea actually made me look pathetic, not edgy, like no one had any interest in my book.  And, you know, he was right.  Besides that, satirizing the concept of blurbs with jokey ones has been done to death, and is probably lamer than just having blurbs (or not having blurbs).

But, all things considered, and I can't believe I'm saying this, I'm glad I had blurbs.  And they DID actually help me sell at least one book.

If you enjoyed this, check out these other Director's Commentary and Deleted Scenes:

#1 -- "FUCK YOUS" (dedication page)
#2 -- "QUOTING BIGGIE SMALLS" (including famous quotes)

Also, if you’ve read "How to Fail" and haven’t yet left an Amazon review, please take 30 seconds to do so here. Thanks for your feedback!

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