This post is the introduction of two new segments. Director's Commentary will be like those lame add-ons to DVDs that no one listens to. Except, hopefully you'll watch and listen to mine where I'll talk about interesting and humorous aspects of the writing and making of "How to Fail." Like the "Fuck Yous" page which I discuss here:
The second new segment is Deleted Scenes, again like those lame DVD add-ons, but hopefully not lame this time. The original draft of "How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide" was a 550 page behemoth. It obviously had to be cut down because people nowadays can barely read an entire blog post that has a *MORE AFTER THE JUMP* button. As William Faulkner said about editing, you must "kill your babies," and a lot of good material had to be cut for one reason or another. I thought it might be interesting to share that stuff.
As discussed in the video above, here's the original Fuck Yous that was at the start of the book up until the absolute last second before going to print:
To all the people who didn’t believe in me, the adults that taught me nothing legitimate, the teachers that ignored me, and the creative writing professor who gave me an “F” because I started sentences with conjunctions. And, to all the Hollywood dunderheads who wouldn't know good writing unless someone else already took a chance on that writing and it became a hit beforehand.
When I lost the war, but not a little tiny battle, I was still able to have the slightly less caustic, detailed, and humorous anti-dedication that ultimately made it into the book:
Oh, I've got plenty...
I'm not sure which one is better. I kinda think bitter is better. How bout you?
*Does any one know of any other books with Fuck Yous dedication pages (or something similar)? List in the comments.