This year, I wanted to offer personally autographed copies of HOW TO FAIL and THE CHEAT SHEET to the FIRST 25 people interested in each. Order by December 15 and I'll guarantee them by Christmas. I'll sign them to whomever and write anything you want.
FREE shipping in North America. (If you want it shipped elsewhere, send me an email email@example.com to discuss)
HOW TO FAIL: THE SELF-HURT GUIDE
THE CHEAT SHEET
both autographed, $50
As I said, I'll write whatever nasty (or friendly) note you want inside of the books. Want to zing your boss, blast an ex, tell mom to suck it? Just tell me what you want me in the "special instructions" area on check-out. Like this girl, who wanted me to call a slutty friend of hers a slut:
I also still have some sordid HOW TO FAIL t-shirts available, perfect if you don't have a gift for mom or dad yet:
Sorry Jews. Just realized Hanukkah starts this weekend. SHIT.
Where new brides annoy us with countless wedding photos.
New mommies annoy us with innumerable baby pics (Hudson’s first poopy!).
And newly published authors annoy the shit out of you with pleas to buy their new book.
Not this time.
This is the one and only time I’m going to tell you about Drunk Drinking, just released on Amazon. It’s my collection of writings--mostly new, some old (but improved!)--all about that one subject we truly care about most. There are stories and essays about the drunkest par 3 public golf course in America, about the nerdiness of rare beer release “parties,” how one drinks alone in a packed bar on a Friday night, what a liquor cabinet should look like depending on your age, and one about a guy simply known as “the anti-game, self-inflicted cockblocking tourist.”
Twenty-two pieces in all, with one special bonus essay. Over 35,000 words you probably haven’t read before.
Even better...want a free copy of Drunk Drinking?
For the rest of the week, just write an Amazon review of either How to Fail here or The Cheat Sheet here, email me a link to that review (firstname.lastname@example.org), and I’ll send you a Kindle, epub, or PDF file of Drunk Drinking.
Even better than that, for the one Amazon review that makes me laugh hardest, I’ll send you a “The Works” goodie bag full of autographed books and Goldfarb schwag.
Even if you don’t buy, please share this on Twitter or Facebook. The more you share it now--this second!--the less likely am I to renege on my promise to never annoy you with the hawking of this book ever again. Or to start posting tons of baby pics on Facebook.